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                    好山!好水!好寂寞

                    時間: 2016-11-19    閱讀: 1446 次    來源:
                    作者:

                        曾經想著每個季節都有那么一天,凌晨披著星光月色啟程,感受街道的謐靜、微涼,感受山川的沉寂和幽遠。

                        有過,確不很多。

                        那年的11月初,深夜從香港歸來。飛機起飛的地方還是周身暖意,途徑千里之后,下了飛機,便是冬的冷冽了。小城的街道,燈光在瑟瑟的風中回閃,幽暗而蕭瑟。行人極少,昏黃的燈影下,依稀的幾個人影,被厚厚的大衣包裹著。那應該是幾個人力車夫吧,在這樣冷寂的深夜依然執著的等待,等待一份美好的希望,也等待一份歸去的安然。

                        車站距離家并不很遠,我們也便選擇了行走。

                        一條諳熟的街道,熟稔于心的是那份晴空下的喧囂和擾攘。風景似是在車流的縫隙間穿梭,又似是隨車流飛馳而去。內心那一分恬淡和清逸,于攢動的人頭之間,漸次的凌亂墜落,直至沒入塵埃和嘈雜。

                        而那晚,那時,好風如水,好月如霜。

                        無非是一個清冷,我卻甚是喜歡。黑色的天幕,那一輪皎月,靜靜的照臨人間。在月色中睡去,以及在月色中醒來的人,想必都會有一顆琉璃的心,清透而溫潤。那晚的月確是有些高遠和深邃,唐風宋雨、漢瓦秦宮早已漂泊在茫茫大野和泛黃的文字之中,惟有這月,于世事更迭及萬千輪回之后,依舊靜定安然。而一切來的、去的,此中,早已成了永恒。

                        那夜,腳步聲異常清晰。白日里,周遭的嘈雜以及內心的奔波,我似是從未聽到過自己的腳步聲。或許至我們離開,離開世界,都未曾真切地聽過自己的腳步吧。它不曾離,我卻棄它很久。其實,拋擲給傖俗塵世的,又何嘗僅僅是這腳步的聲音呢,想來還有那顆負載憂喜的心吧。那晚,我卻聽得了自己的淡然、清澈和通透。

                        我想,當我走向你,腳步里肯定是那種愛的聲音。踏著大地,也踏著你的心。

                        樓門前是幾棵高大的楊樹,那些葉子,有些稀疏薄脆。風吹過時,便是那種清冽的聲響。月光透過葉的縫隙,射到地面,零零落落,襯著葉子的清響,有幾分寥落、幾分悵然。偶爾輕搖的樹影,卻又生出了幾分婀娜和迷離。寥落生悲,迷離易醉,那么人生有幾分清苦,也未必壞事吧。

                        一葉知秋,數載光陰里,我只感覺季節更迭,從未體會過那幾棵樹的榮枯和沉默,直至老去,我們以及它們。而那晚,我知道,即使人類都已入睡,還有它,在寒冷中等我歸來,給我一份溫暖。蒼茫塵世,若有一個生命靜默地為你守候,當是尤其欣慰的吧。

                        浮生之中,半日之閑,已很是愜意。而我擁有一日,該是極美的事情。

                        夏日那個清晨,背起行囊,懷一分豪情、三分忐忑啟程。好久以來,都是有人庇護著來來往往。獨自外出,那便是令自己極其崇敬的壯舉了。但凡離家,便有些焦慮、緊張和不安,總是擔心路途之中會有種種艱辛和苦難,總是擔心自己無論如何也無法駕馭和把握突入襲來的一切……便愈發的惶恐起來。

                        站在候車臺上,忽然的想到離別,有些隱隱的悲壯和感慨。想自己的人生,有過生離死別,那種疼痛分泌的酸楚,居然還沒有結繭,依然如此懼怕觸碰。離別是啟程,我相信一切離別都與愛有關,或愛自己,或愛他人,或者僅僅為一次日出或日落……只有父母的離去,讓我不甚明了:他們是否愛我?是否知道我也那么愛他們?

                        出發是因為遠處有風景,當然也包括人生。

                        我,一個有著小情懷的女人,最美的風景便是家了。

                        怯生生的等待著班車進站,眼睛也似乎在陌生的行程里機敏了許多,不停地看看遠方,生怕自己的瘦弱淹沒在強壯的擁擠和眾人對遠方的激情里。車子進站的瞬間,心潮著實有些久違的澎湃,忽然迸發一種一往無前的沖動。上車,然后落座,卻又不放心的低頭看看座位的顏色,深信自己并沒未占用那些老者的位置,才穩下了心情。一直覺得人類美好的品性,都應與嘈雜、擁擠、期待以及一切困苦毫不相關。

                        幾乎每個人的一生,都會經歷車門打開的瞬間,讓我們體會或經歷人性對利益和取舍的權衡以及之后的思齊和自省。

                        這個季節,那個方向,車子會一直行走在蔥蘢的綠色里。

                        陽光傾瀉在樹葉上,明麗了夏天以及我的心情。有些卻穿過樹葉的縫隙落在路邊或田野,驚醒了花草和蟲蟻,閑閑的綻放和往復的奔忙便是一種細微的風情了。若是賞得,內心中定會有一番散淡與執著的較量,然后悟得:人生中那條必須的路和喜歡的路都屬于自己。

                        田地里,農民將殘余的腐草攏置在一起,之后點燃。那絲絲縷縷的輕煙背后,便模糊出許多影像,兒時的我以及慈祥的父親。那是一種無比溫暖的畫面,也是我許久以來無比鐘情春天的緣由。而我,依舊在陽光和綠色里,父親和母親卻化作輕煙,瞬間遙不可及。想這輕煙若是連了天地,他們一定會懂得我萬般思念的情懷。

                        路邊的那些孩子,頗似兒時的自己。流連于路邊或站臺,等待與自己相關或無關的一切。驚喜或平淡,都不失為一種希望和快樂,這樣便好了。鄰座的叔叔阿姨們,家長里短地聊著。憂喜哀怨,說來倒也有幾分灑脫。勸慰與釋然,羨慕與甜美,當是他們旅途中尤為欣喜的樂事吧。

                        故鄉的站臺,永遠的陽光和微笑。

                        我的心,瞬間安然……

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