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                    七年之癢

                    時間: 2016-12-15    閱讀: 1711 次    來源:
                    作者:

                      今天和老公吵了一架,原因是他嫌我玩電腦太癡迷。我不知怎么那么失控把音箱喇叭給摔了,他居然說我有本事的話就把電腦砸了,我就真的抱起主機來給扔了出去。他見狀又把地上的主機狠踩了幾腳。我氣得臉貼青,好久沒說出話來,他默默的走到別的房間去了。

                      我看著地上一片狼藉,說不出心中是什么滋味。其實我明白他是嫌我聊天的時間太多,忽略了他的感受,對網友都好過了對他。人說婚姻有七年之癢,我今年結婚剛好七年,老公沒有改變,我的心卻越來越搖擺,越來越不能定位,找不到人生的方向。我摔電腦更多的其實是氣的自己,是摔的自己,我不想偏離軌道,不想越走越遠,不想誤入歧途。不想迷失自我。

                      我跑到屋里去睡覺,根本睡不著,想最近發生的許多事情,閱讀自己的內心。天快黑的時候,我爬起來,抱起主機去修電腦。修電腦的小店離我的住處有一段距離。沒修完天就大黑了。他打電話問我在哪里,我只說在修電腦就掛了。回來的時候下了大霧,那一段的路燈又壞了,電瓶車剛好沒電,我只好推著車走路,心里充滿了懊惱。后來我想還是給他打電話吧,要不然自己怎么弄?我對他說“電瓶車沒電了,來接我。”他只說“奧,馬上到”不多一會他就接到了我,我看到他的身影,心頭一熱。我們都不說話,只是走路,我覺得自己像個做錯事的孩子,等待家長的訓斥,然而沒有,什么都沒有。只是一路默默的走。回到街上的時候,路過一家餐館,他說“去吃飯吧”我嗯了一聲,跟著進去,然后默默的吃飯,依然無語。回到家里,上床睡覺,我白天的想法是至少要和他分居十天半月的,不讓他到床上來睡,可是他脫鞋的時候,我卻一句話都沒有說。我在想,孩子難得不在家,難道是給我們騰出時間和空間用來生氣的嗎?我背對著他躺下,他看電視到深夜。他躺下的時候,以為我已睡著,其實我根本沒睡,他側過身,在我身后環抱住我,那一刻,我心中有那么多感動,那么多柔軟,那么多釋然,我就勢依偎在他的懷里,沒有話語,許久許久,沉沉睡去……

                      第二天早晨,起床,洗臉,做飯,吃飯,討論一天的計劃與安排,從容得體自然,沒有一點刻意與做作,像什么事都沒發生一樣。我想,當婚姻過了戀愛的階段,不再有激情和浪漫的時候,雖然只剩了平淡,但是能夠互相理解,寬容,包容。于平淡中體現柔情,品味幸福,這應該是婚姻的最高境界和最真實的含義吧?

                      后來他把音箱修好,接好線,用膠帶粘好外殼,居然還能正常使用,主機也沒問題,只是摔壞了外殼,一切都沒問題,我心中狂喜,沒想到它們居然會這么堅強,我想我的婚姻,也會像這電腦一樣,能夠經受住風雨的洗禮的。

                      我在我的空間心情里寫道“鳳凰浴火!劫后重生!”為我的電腦,更是為我的心靈!

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